Nurturing The Capacity To Have What We Truly Want
What if the reason you don’t yet have what you desire isn’t because of the plan you’re following or it’s just not meant to be for ‘someone like you’, but because you’re not yet the person who can hold it? Whether it’s running a marathon or charging premium rates for your work, the gap between where you are and where you want to be is often less about strategy and more about capacity. In this post, I’ll explore what it really takes to expand your capacity and grow into the version of yourself who can achieve—and sustain—the goals you’ve set. Spoiler: there’s no easy button, but there’s also no need to leap off cliffs without a parachute. Let’s dive in.
Something that isn’t often spoken about simply and clearly enough in entrepreneurship is that getting what we want often requires an expansion in capacity.
Another way to frame this is: we don’t yet have what we desire because we haven’t become the person who can hold it.
Take the example of a marathon runner. I’m not a marathon runner today because I’m not yet the person who can get up daily and go for a run. On the rare occasions I do, I only manage five minutes before my capacity for discomfort and exhaustion gets the best of me. In essence, there’s the goal—running a marathon—and then there’s the training required to be able to hold the goal.
This principle holds true in creative work and entrepreneurship. I may want to charge $10,000 for a project, but if I’m not yet the person who can comfortably steward the conversation around that, I’ll fumble. I’ll panic. In moments of discomfort, I’ll lower my price back to $5,000. This dynamic seems to be a fundamental entrepreneurial rule:
There is the goal, and there is the capacity required to hold it.
Two common responses to this challenge often fail:
Bypassing Capacity: Gritting your teeth, jumping off the cliff, and hoping you can swim in deep water.
Avoiding Growth: Searching endlessly for a solution that makes achieving the goal EASY, FAST, CHEAP, and ZERO-RISK.
Both approaches are flawed. They ignore the truth that sustainable success comes from nurturing capacity slowly, consistently, with eyes wide open and a body-aware approach. It’s about becoming the person who can handle the discomfort that leads to growth, taking one step closer each day to what you truly want.
The Reality: There’s No Easy Button
We may not want to hear it, but there is no easy button. However, it doesn’t have to take as long or feel as arduous as it does when employing the two failing tactics above.
Here’s the path that works:
Decide what you want.
Commit to making it happen.
Locate your current capacity.
Nurture your capacity to expand.
Will it be as fast as your zero-risk-tolerance brain wants? No. Will it be as slow as your discomfort-intolerance brain fears? No. It will fall somewhere in the middle, involving risk and action but not recklessness. Along the way, you’ll develop the skill to discern between a true capacity limit and simple discomfort, between a fixed identity and the immense ability to evolve.
Reaching your goals is more about becoming the person you’re meant to be than about following a perfect plan. Internal shifts create external results, and only you can do that work.
How Digital Dream Home Supports Capacity Building
When I built Digital Dream Home, it was designed with this philosophy in mind. Here’s how:
No Overnight Results: It doesn’t promise quick fixes or pander to fear-based thinking. Instead, it appeals to your deeper knowing.
Honesty as a Foundation: It acknowledges that you’ve likely spent years suppressing your truth. Expanding into your knowing is a process.
Active Participation Required: From the very beginning, it requires your engagement. There’s no bypassing the important steps without risking the entire project.
Collaborative Exploration: It doesn’t claim to know more than you about your mission and message. Instead, it creates space for two-person conversations to unearth what’s locked within you.
Structured but Flexible Flow: While it has a clear flow, it’s not rigid. The DIY version allows you to take as long as needed, but progress through parts two and three hinges on honestly navigating part one. The good news? You can revisit it as many times as necessary.
Process Over Results: The focus is on the journey, not just the destination. It helps you recognize that orienting to others is an often-missing but vital step.
Capacity as a Gift: It reframes capacity challenges as gifts and reminders of your location on the journey, rather than as punishments or frustrations.
Final Thoughts
If you decide what you want, commit to it, and nurture your capacity for growth, you’ll get there. It’s not about finding an easy button but about aligning your internal shifts with your external goals. Digital Dream Home is here to support that alignment, reminding you that your uniqueness is the magic required to alchemize the entire process.