The Relational Patterns We Bring Into Our Businesses
I don’t think many of realize just how much our way of relating to self and the world will affect our businesses. From my experience of working with hundreds of business owners over 10+ years, I’ve seen it more than not– the false belief that business is about business and not about us. Today, I’m sharing more about why I don’t work this way with my own clients any longer and how working with them to relate differently can make business more sustainable and successful.
Are You Relating to Your Customers as a Person or a Product?
Have you ever stopped to think about how your patterns of relating to others show up in your business? The ways we seek safety, connection, and security in our personal lives often carry over into how we run our businesses. Without realizing it, we may be making things harder for ourselves and setting the stage for burnout.
For me, this pattern took the form of the fawn response: people-pleasing. I would dissociate from my own feelings and mirror others’ needs and emotions. I thought this was how I could belong—by contorting myself into whatever someone else needed me to be.
This response followed me into my previous business, where I found myself in relationship with tens of thousands of people. And these weren’t people in their happiest moments. I was connecting with people who were stressed out, panicked, overextended, and under immense pressure. They were often beyond their capacity physically, emotionally, and financially.
And, unknowingly, so was I.
Without realizing it, I carried my relational patterns into my business. I didn’t set boundaries. Not with my schedule, not with finances, not relationally. I bypassed my own needs: rest, respect, right relationship. I made myself endlessly available, and when demands, threats, or even shaming came my way, I folded every time. My nervous system was wired to prioritize others' safety over my own well-being.
This way of operating isn’t sustainable. It’s exhausting, and it often leads to burnout. But here’s the good news: the solution isn’t found in hustling harder or adopting someone else’s business strategy. It’s found in tuning into yourself.
What Is Your Body Telling You About Your Business?
Your body holds the key to understanding how you’re meant to run your business. Carefully observing your body’s reactions to your business tasks and triggers can reveal the relational patterns that are holding you back.
Ask yourself:
Do I always want to bypass my own boundaries so that others can always get what they need?
Do I flinch at pricing my services in a way that actually meets my basic needs?
Do I overcouple showing up online with the fear of being shamed?
Do I bring past fearful situations into new ones where no actual threat is present?
These questions can help you identify where you’re running on autopilot, repeating patterns that no longer serve you. When you begin to tune into your body—your first and most reliable business mentor—you can start to respond differently. You learn to honor your boundaries, listen to your limits, and trust your instincts.
Why Your Body Is a Better Guide Than Any Business Plan
Business plans and strategies can be helpful, but they’re often created through someone else’s lens. They don’t account for your specific needs, patterns, and ways of being. Your body, on the other hand, is uniquely yours. It’s always giving you signals about what feels sustainable and what doesn’t.
When you tune into your body, you start to:
Recognize the moments when you’re about to override your boundaries.
Notice the difference between true fear and outdated fear patterns.
Find ways to stretch beyond your capacity without breaking yourself in the process.
For example, instead of pushing through exhaustion, you might pause to eat a grounding meal, take a walk, or rest your eyes for ten minutes. These small acts of care send a powerful message to your nervous system: I see you. I’m listening. I’m not abandoning you.
The Ripple Effect of Humanizing Your Business
When you begin to tune into your body and honor its needs, something amazing happens: you create a ripple effect. By humanizing yourself, you give others permission to do the same.
You start to:
Show up with authenticity, rather than perfection.
Build healthier, more sustainable relationships with your clients, team, and collaborators.
Create products and services that are rooted in respect and humanity, not just performance.
The way you relate to yourself becomes the foundation for how you relate to others. The more you prioritize your own well-being, the more you model what it means to build a business from a place of wholeness rather than depletion.
Building a Business That Fits You
So, ask yourself: Are you building a business that requires you to be a product—always available, always performing, always meeting others’ needs? Or are you building a business that allows you to be a person—imperfect, complex, and beautifully human?
Success isn’t about saying “yes” to everyone and everything. It’s about tuning into your body and listening to the quieter voice that says, This is enough for today. It’s about trusting that honoring your humanity will not only sustain you but also create deeper, more meaningful connections with the people you’re here to serve.
When you let your body be your guide, you discover a way of working that fits you. And that’s where true success begins.