Loving advice for creating a purpose-based business from your own painful struggle.
One of the greatest teachers is pain– and if you’re a coach, you might just be building a business from that space. Here are some helpful hints.
My speciality is helping coaches create authentic products, marketing and brands– often from places of triumph.
If you’ve gotten over your money story (and it was a rough one) you usually want to help others in the same way.
If you lost your entire family early in your life and managed to find a way back to joy and happiness, you might have a deep purpose to share this with others who are suffering in the same way.
I think that the coaches I resonate with mostly build businesses because of empathy. They’ve been through a lot. And they want to turn that pain into purpose (and profit).
But building a business will compound your pain if you are not healing yourself already. I don’t recommend using your business as the vehicle to heal you or to prove painful thoughts wrong. I recommend working with a coach and potentially a therapist to heal yourself and then to use that experience to build your business from a place of love, excitement, joy, exhilaration.
Do not use your business to prove your story wrong or to heal you– you need a coach for that.
You are a human who has been through a lot, like many of us. But your business is just a circumstance. It’s not good or bad. It’s not causing you pain or happiness. But if you haven’t cleaned up your thoughts (you’ve only gotten enlightenment to them), then you will more than likely be triggered over and over and over with business. This is why you need a coach. And possibly a therapist. Your business is never there to help you prove to the world that you are worthy or beautiful or whole etc. That comes from within. Your business WILL suffer and you WILL suffer if you are unable to get the support you need. This might require more money and more patience. That’s ok. You will not get the results you are looking for if you’re looking for your business to do the coaching work for you. Certainly it is fruitful ground for practicing that work. Business, like all of life, will provide ample opportunity for you to continue to evolve. But the truly painful stuff more than likely will become amplified beyond your ability to humanly handle if you don’t have support via a coach and therapist.
So, how do you know if this is what’s going on with you? Well, the first indication is your results. Are you practicing business? Are you connecting with clients? Are you telling the world that you are a coach and have you written a business plan? Or are you hiding? Are you approaching from a really painful place?
You might think that you’re just confused as to where to begin, but I can tell you that when you’re thinking cleanly and with excitement about your business, you will make moves to support it with excitement. So, if you’re not, then you need to have a coach to help you understand why you’re not taking action. Do not pile on extra suffering in the form of being upset or demanding with yourself. It’s just possible you are not ready. And that is ok. You are a human.
2. Study business.
There is so much to learn. And there are so many places where you can find this information. Again, overwhelm is not your friend. So if you’re experiencing this then sharing with your coach is very helpful. They are there to help you understand and manage your emotional world so that you may approach business cleanly. You still might have moments of fear and uncertainty and confusion but the point is that if these feelings are hampering your ability to study basic business principles and find answers to questions, then your thoughts are not serving you. Create a business plan yourself or have someone help you do it.
3. Make business decisions from a clean place– and practice patience.
Don’t make business decisions from a panicked place. From a place of insecurity. Of pain. Of fear. Of tremendous pain. I know that time matters and it’s not always possible to put all decisions on hold, but you can put many decisions on hold. You might ‘lose’ money. It’s ok. You might ‘miss’ a window of opportunity. Miss it. You might be publicly made fun of. That’s ok, too. Pausing, having patience and caring for your own brain and heart is so important. And you’re the only gatekeeper of that. Only you can do what it takes to allow yourself the space to get back to a place of neutrality. Business will trigger you. See when that happens. Seek help rather than believe you don’t have time or can’t take time for it. You’re a human. Care for your human brain, body and heart. And your business will thrive for it.
4. Love yourself always.
Certainly you will make a ton of mistakes. How would you not? You’re most likely new to this business thing. And depending on your path leading up to here and the type of business you have and the obstacles and atmosphere you’re entering into, you have no idea really what you’re getting yourself into. That’s ok. Love yourself always. People will judge you. A pandemic might hit and throw a wrench in your plans. When you love yourself first and foremost, you will be more prepared to deal with anything that comes your way.
5. Don’t miss the opportunities for genuine growth.
Just because it’s painful NOW doesn’t mean it’s wrong to happen to you. Again, when you don’t have adequate support for your past, (most likely powerful) pain, you will have a hard time pulling apart what’s painful NOW versus what’s triggering past pain. That well-practiced past pain is a powerful force. It was a survival technique. But it is not necessary now. So, again, have someone who can help you tease out what’s triggering old pain versus just new pain. You will continue to experience pain in your life and your business. And that is ok. That is where growth can happen. You might show up to a webinar and teach it to no one because no one showed up. That might be mildly painful, more likely annoying. But it doesn’t have to stop you. And as a business owner it’s pretty neutral. What could you have done better? This is actually a really fun part of business– figuring stuff out. Don’t let it mean anything about YOU.
6. When you’re in pain, seek help.
Remember, you will most likely have moments where your pain feels unbearable. THIS is where you need to have your coach. Your support system. Your therapist. It’s ok to seek help. Where we’re going is a world where your pain no longer defines you. Where your struggle made you stronger. Made you a more loving and empathetic and kind human. Where you see yourself in a new light. Where you see your pain as protection that you no longer need. Do not do this work without a coach.
7. Your business will REFLECT and REVEAL what you think about yourself– so let’s make it good.
Whether you realize it or not, once you announce that business instagram account and website your results in that business will begin to reveal pretty clearly what YOU believe about yourself. I found this one of the most vulnerable parts of business but also one of the best teachers. Are you posting every day? Are you hiding? Do you complain all the time on social? Are you lowering your prices rather than explain your value? Are you rushing content because you’re feeling scarcity? Oh gosh, business is just a reflection of what you think and really most everyone can see it. It’s a vulnerable place. Obviously NO ONE can read your thoughts but your actions reflect them so they’re much easier to guess. Let’s create action from a loving place.
8. Your human triumph over the pain that was inflicted upon you IS more important than the pain itself. Do not forget how powerful you are.
Don’t over-identify with the pain and struggle. Identify with YOU. You were a 100% worthy, amazing loving, cool, creative, powerful human BEFORE whatever happened to you. THAT is who you are. Your pain is NOT who you are. Don’t blur the lines when you’re building a business. Don’t stay in the world o victim- move to victor. DESPITE the circumstances, you made it. You are here living and breathing and thriving. Don’t cling to your pain. Your struggle. Your old story. Let’s write a new one.
A 3-hour deep dive can be broken up into 2 parts– Coaching + Consulting.
I’d love to help you get the creative results you’re looking for. I offer 3-hour deep dives so we can dig into the problem and emerge with solutions.
I typically break them up into Coaching– “tell me what’s going on and what’s wrong and why you think it’s that way” and Consulting– “now let’s decide what we’re going to do about it.”
Sound intriguing?
If you’re a first-time client, schedule a clarity call with me here and I can answer any questions you might have.