That's not my job.
When you’re a Coachsultant like me, it can lead to confusing client interactions– here’s a bit to consider around how to keep it all clear.
I recently got into a really confusing email exchange with a client where it was clear that we were on totally different planets. I believed I was done with my work and she believed that I had a lot to do, still.
I believed I had overworked on the project, she felt I underworked.
It was really confusing– and much of that is my responsibility. This is the part of being a business owner who is committed to improving with each interaction that requires me to dig deep INTO the issue rather than avoiding or sending a contract or trying to talk my client out of her thoughts and feelings.
She was right.
And so was I.
Here’s what happened–
She hired a consultant. But what she really needed was a coach, and then a consultant.
I said yes to a project without assessing where she was in her responsibility of guiding a consulting project.
I coached her when I was supposed to be reminding her that her confusion was not my responsibility.
I did a lot of people-pleasing and doing-stuff-for-her so that I could move the project along but I never acknowledged it.
I was not clear up front about the difference between Coaching and Consulting and so I became the person who would just fix most anything in our project because I allowed it to be part of my job.
I did NOT track any extra time I spent on this project doing work that was not in my scope, so I had no evidence to present at our meeting
This is not uncommon. And you should not feel any shame around situations like this. People usually point back to contracts and deliverables and that is all well and good, but having a tough conversation with your client might just lead to better results and more growth for you both.
Here’s a better way to approach work like this–
Be very clear about what a coach does and what a consultant does.
Coaches help you sort out what’s in your brain. They help you FEEL your feelings to move through them. They’re involved in your emotional life. If you’re confused and it leads to disempowering, painful emotions that could your ability to make decisions, you need a coach. If you’re panicked and want a consultant to just ‘get something off your plate because you can’t handle it emotionally’, you need a coach. You do not hire consultants to build websites because you are in an emotional place where the website is causing you to have emotional breakdowns. This might sound harsh, but Consultants are not there to provide you emotional support in that very intimate way. Coaches are there to do this.
Create a pre-work assessment to understand where your client is currently in their skill sets around the work you’re doing for them.
I mainly help coaches and female founders solve creative problems in their businesses– with photography, website design, program development, copywriting, marketing support and more. I do think it’s best for me to work with clients who have a basic understanding of what a marketing team or marketing department does. If I can find out that my client has zero clue how Instagram works and expects me to train them in that, it’s helpful to know that ahead of time. Why? Well, because a lot of my value depends on a client recognizing it. For instance, I could build out an entirely new instagram but if the client herself doesn’t spend any time on instagram she might think that all of my work is totally unnecessary. So, it’s important you decide what your clients value and if you can even provide what they’re looking for. In my case, I had no idea the level of tech / marketing fear my client had. So, oddly enough, solving for a problem (not enough engagement or followers) actually triggered in her a lot of worry and anxiety around posting versus being seen as helpful. And THAT would have been the work for a coach, not a consultant. But because I didn’t clear it up ahead of time, my client assumed that I could change her circumstance (ie, new designs or more instagram coaching, etc) and then that would ease her fears. However, that was both beyond my scope and not what I was hired for.
Coach yourself to a place of Unconditional Love for your clients (and yourself) so you’re able to avoid people-pleasing.
I did SO MUCH extra work in this project because I love this human. And I also did so much extra work because I was scared to disappoint her. After all, I am building a new business. I want to have a good review. So, I went above and beyond but I never acknowledged it or even asked her permission if I switch into ‘solve-everything-steph’ mode. Unconditional Love requires the truth. And telling someone the truth (“sorry that’s not in my scope of work”) and then loving them no matter what their reaction. I didn’t always do this.
Track your time.
I used to find project management SO ANNOYING. But you know what’s more annoying? Not knowing how much money you actually make. Not being able to provide data to a client when you need to. It’s so important that we track the time it takes to do certain things in business so that we can adjust our processes or our rates when they’re not in alignment with where we want to go.
A 3-hour deep dive can be broken up into 2 parts– Coaching + Consulting.
I’d love to help you get the creative results you’re looking for. I offer 3-hour deep dives so we can dig into the problem and emerge with solutions.
I typically break them up into Coaching– “tell me what’s going on and what’s wrong and why you think it’s that way” and Consulting– “now let’s decide what we’re going to do about it.”
Sound intriguing?
If you’re a first-time client, schedule a clarity call with me here and I can answer any questions you might have.