Why I'm scared to make money– and what I'm doing about it.
I want nothing more than to rock out this new business and make money– so why am I standing in my own way?
I had a realization this morning– that I am truly afraid of being in a relationship with a group of clients.
But I’m also selling a group coaching program for Winter 2021.
So, how is this working for me and why do I have that thought?
I realized that I still have some fear trapped inside of me after the 7 years of running my creative startup where my relationship to my customers was really fraught.
I remember how many people told me that I was the reason their businesses were failing.
I remember the time a shopper told me I should be ashamed of myself for stealing from the public.
I remember the time a vendor called me a cunt because his car got towed (he hadn’t renewed his plates).
And I realized today that my brain is scared that it’s going to be like that again– giving my all and having people scream and yell at and shame me.
It’s what I’ve spent nearly this entire year feeling and processing and letting go.
And now– now I’m readying myself to teach a group of lovely people lessons around creativity.
And I’m scared they’ll react like that.
So, I’ve been marketing and preparing but my brain has also been telling me things like, “You’ve just got to find the RIGHT client who won’t trigger you.”
Unfortunately that’s not exactly a good message for me to hear.
It’s stopped me from being 1000% committed that I can help ANYONE.
It’s put all the work and credit back on to me, when it’s really a partnership.
It’s tricked me into thinking I can avoid people being upset with me– it’s their own thinking and really it will have nothing to do with me.
So, with hope in my heart I’m stepping back into the same waters that once threatened to drown me. I’m allowing myself to be a teacher in creativity and love and courage.
I am not going to hide.
I’ve been given such a gift. I know what it feels like to be you.
I know how much it hurts to believe you can’t emotionally handle the life you really want to live.
I feel the same terror you feel when you bare your soul to the ones you love, only for it to be rejected.
That is sometimes the work of living.
It’s sometimes the work of finding your purpose in the world– and shaping it to support you and your family.
Creativity isn’t just about color and design and marketing.
It’s mostly about you and your heart and your brain.
And I can’t wait to walk this path with you, along side you, together.
CURRENT COACHING OFFERING– PUSH PUBLISH PROGRAM
Getting your creative work out there in the has so much more to do with your inner world that you’d imagine.
