What are your immediate thoughts when you hear about another woman's success?
I once heard that, in general, men are more supportive of each other than women in their respective professional communities. I wanted to know more about this dynamic, and so I began to pay more attention to how I was showing up for the success of other women. I’m certain that I’m part of this problem–what about you?
I read an email this morning from my coach and it said she made $6M already this year.
And my first thought was not, “This is amazing–I am SO PROUD of her!!”
It was, “Why am I not doing better?”
Here are some other thoughts that have come to mind when I hear about the success of other women (and the feelings that go along with them)–
“What am I doing wrong that she’s doing right?” —> self-hate
“Why does she get that when I don’t?” —> jealousy
“I bet she didn’t do this on her own.” —> anger
Now, I’m not proud of these thoughts.
And I’ll tell you that part of my own feminist-leaning self-coaching program is to notice this shit, especially when it violates my own standards, and break it down.
Let’s think about what feelings of self-hate, jealousy and anger will get me:
disconnection from women
the inability to believe that her success IS also my success
action that is taken from negativity
That, my friends, is NOT going to help feminism and it’s not going to help women and it’s not going to help me.
It’s certainly not going to help my business.
Now, the more I see women succeed, the more I want to believe in us and the capacity we ALL have. The capacity I have.
I want to think this stuff instead–
“Damn, she is amazing!” —> inspired
“If she can do it, I can do it, too!” —> energized
“What an amazing example for us all!” —> proud
Now THOSE are feelings that I can use to create my best life and my best business. And battle the patriarchy, as well. 👯♀️👯♀️👯♀️
Choose your thoughts wisely.
And let’s find out what your brain is primed to tell you when another woman in your circle is succeeding.
DIY COACHING EXERCISE
Decide what you want to think about another woman’s success. Then watch what your brain does when you actually get news of another woman’s success.
What do you think that about that?
WOMEN’S WEALTH-BUILDING EXERCISE
Be active in celebrating the successes of the women in your circle, and beyond it, so much so that you become known for it.