Reestablishing vital communities that nourish.
From parenting to friendship to entrepreneurship, something vital and often missing these days is convenient, consistent, consenting, lovingly-transactional connections that help us deal with the world we live in and thrive in our important endeavors.
An unlikely source of inspiration came to me today from Ezra Klein’s interview with the sex columnist Dan Savage. It’s not odd that inspiration came from them (I love them and their work) but it’s odd that it resonated with me in regard to my own space of study– women growing their own businesses.
Before I get too far, the podcast episode is wonderful and you can find it here.
What resonated with me is their discussion of how marooned most parents have become in the raising of a family due to how far we live from potential support (family, daycare, etc), how pressed for time most people are, how little open space we have in our brains for meaningful contemplation and maybe even a break from mental input. How the pressure to do it all perfectly looms over us and that many people are wondering what they’re doing wrong because their brain is always wondering if maybe someone else has it figured out and they don’t.
It’s madness.
Most people are suffering. They are not solving it better than you. There just doesn't seem to be an option to get out of it.
And I think that this applies to women’s business communities, too.
You know what I DON’T need? I don’t need more help from people who believe their value to me is how fast they can help me solve problems with tools or apps in my business. In essence, if I can reliably google something that frees me to have ACTUAL conversation and connection with the humans in my business community. Here’s something else that I believe doesn’t create a rich environment within our business communities– constant complaining. And my friend Diana Vitantonio touched on that the other day in her social. And though I believe venting is an absolute necessity to processing emotion, I also believe that consent is required and it should be framed in a way that acknowledges the listener’s valuable contribution to that process. Emotional Maturity, Awareness, Adulthood seems crucial for this to happen. Perfection doesn’t need to be a goal. But a long-term relationship mindset might be.
Savage touches on this, too. Even though relationships might come to a conclusion in a short amount of time that doesn’t make them any less important or successful. And this care in our business relationships would be highly beneficial to our communities.
Maybe some of you have figured this out. Maybe these communities exist. If they do, I’m highly interested in knowing more and finding them.
Here’s what I think would benefit our business journeys– having a circle of women or other humans who you truly feel close to, who aren’t there to help you choose the right microphone for your podcast but who are just there, for a thoughtful conversation and to remind us all that building something meaningful is not as easy as social media is making it look, and that if you’re struggling there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
I’d love to know what you think. Please share with me in the comments or on social!
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