Broken Buyers, Broken Sellers
This is a bit of a discussion starting point on the relationship of seller and buyer– and how brokenness on both sides can often create worse outcomes for everyone.
When I became a vegetarian (ovo-pescatarian to be exact) I became very well aware of how much my lower brain influences my actions. I craved bacon. Swearing off meat didn’t initially erase the desire for me to add crispy, salty bacon to my lettuce and tomato sandwich. I was able to control my urges, of course, for the most part through reminding myself of the disgusting and inhumane conditions that animals (and the humans who are paid to mistreat them) must endure so that I may have that momentary satisfaction.
I removed myself as a customer of that system, but I still wanted the product. But my wanting of a better, more humane system is bigger. And I choose that.
I don’t want to be sold things that require oppression of others in order to produce. I am flawed in this because I am certain that there are products I DO choose that put people, the environment or animals in harms way that I just haven’t discovered yet. Or maybe it doesn’t seem as bad to me as ripping baby pigs away from their caged and screaming mothers.
I am flawed, but I am working to be aware of systems of oppression when I purchase things. I should also note that because these companies keep ‘cheap-for-you / max-profit-for-us-as-fast-as-possible’ as a value, entire food systems have been distorted so that eating without oppression to animals and people becomes actually expensive when it should be the opposite.
So, let’s think about these sellers for a moment. Who in their right mind would create an entire system that depended upon dehumanizing, degrading practices? When you look at modern western capitalism (hello, America) you can easily see the jump from building an entire country through colonization and slavery to the companies that we have today. Those companies that hide the reality of delivering you your desires– for crunchy, cheap-as-can-be-while-they-still-make-a-sizable-profit bacon for your burgers and sandwiches. You may not want to see the connection. That’s the part about us being sort of broken. Now, I’m not saying every human is broken if they buy what’s in the supermarket choosing to believe that what they’re sold is real. I’m just saying that there is something there for us in deciding not to look further. I call it broken for this piece, though it’s more about a relationship being broken than a person being broken.
I don’t want my relationships to be based on oppression.
I don’t want my relationships to be built on lies– on lies that I want to be told.
I see this happening in the small business development industry. You want building your business to be fast, easy, cheap, painless. Maybe for a very very few it ends up that way. But for most of us, it will be long, hard, expensive and painful– but often times much less than we imagine.
There are so many ways to make that work more beautiful.
There are so many ways to bring ease into your business life.
There are so many ways to make the journey less long.
But all of this requires energy– in the form of our time, our money or our focus.
I make the most beautiful ‘bacon’, lettuce and tomato sandwiches now– I just took time to find a way to replicate some sort of bacon-y qualities with coconut flakes and smoke flavoring. It’s not exactly the same. But with every bite, I love myself more and more for choosing to long for this without giving in to companies that I just can’t bring myself to support.
So– for the coaches and budding women founders, here are some framing questions for you–
What are you scared to offer that you just don’t believe will sell because of the existing thoughts of customers?
Where might you be engaging in self-oppression in order to please a buyer who wants a lower price, faster delivery, easier process?
What thoughts keep you doing this?
What are your values when it comes to buying / selling / quality of product / time off for you and others / pricing?