Full of JOY.

I’ve been waiting to be happy for a long time. Forever, really.

And I just realized something. My lack of joy or happiness is a byproduct of my thoughts. See I thought that once I built my business, found that special someone, created the dreamiest relationship with my parents, made the right amount of money, had the right-looking body and presented to the world as the best version of myself that I’d naturally finally be happy.

But it hasn’t happened.

And I don’t want to wait for it. I don’t want to wait for the relationships, the money, the dream job, the perfect instagram. I just want to feel happy NOW.

I want to experience joy today. In this moment. This mundane, everyday, didn’t-stick-to-my-diet moment.

Why?

My brain is confused. “Are we supposed to let her feel ok even if she didn’t get every thing off her to-do list AND she ate fries with dinner?”

Yes, brain, yes. Let’s just have fun, k?

Repeat it with me. Hey brain- let’s just have fun.

i’ll need to say it over and over and over, but I’ll willing and excited and able to do so.

I’m sick and tired of not feeling good enough. Sure, I do want many of the things on that list but I am reorienting my thoughts.

I bet they’ll naturally happen if I just focus on my happiness. I think they’ll be byproducts of living a loving life.

So, how am I going to flip this?

Well, we know that feelings are caused by thoughts. Instead of constantly thinking about how much better my life will be when I get the things on my current goals list, I’ll just think thoughts about how happy I am now. I’ll remember that I have an amazing ass (it’s true). I’ll think about how I’m so lucky to be surrounded by the hardest working do-gooders in all of Cleveland. I’ll think about my cute little Mexican puppy and all the travels I have coming up and the clients I’ve helped and how awesome my hair is and how I’ve got some of the best friends in the entire world.

If I can be frank with you, I have spent much of my life feeling the absence of my dream life. And even when I got here, old thinking habits made it hard for me to change. I still thought the same things about myself as before I had achieved all the amazing goals.

So, despite what I have, I’d remained in unhappiness. Unfulfilled. Mild depression. Anxiety about my future. Fear about people ‘finding me out.’

Deciding to be happy just for the sake of it takes practice, and I can’t wait to see what committing to that will iook like for me.

Have the best day, friends.

steph