Sorry I was such a bitch. I was birthing a revolution.

This year has been different for me.

I’ve found my voice. I’ve followed my heart. I’ve come to know myself and love myself.

One thing I’ve consistently done is not have my own back. I believed the stories of people who told me that I wasn’t good enough for them and even who told me that I’d injured them.

What I’ve come to realize is a few things.

• People cause their own feelings. I cause my own, you cause your own.

• We choose each other, every single day.

• Having your own back is also about listening to your heart and doing the scary things.

• My natural reactions to needing time away to be alone was absolutely fine. It’s what my brain and body and heart and mind require to refuel.

• Asking for what you need will upset some people. Ask for it anyway.

• Consistently doing things to please others will leave you feeling terrible.

• I’m in an extraordinary amount of demand (from staff and vendors and shoppers and collaborators) due the shear amount of people I interact with in the way we interact (we ask them to do new things, to have trust in new people, to be ok when things don’t go as planned).

• In my business, I deal mainly with the emotions and expectations of others.

And you know what? My natural reaction to all of this emotion coming at me was to deal with it head on. And then it was to quickly realize that no matter what I did, I couldn’t make anyones emotions go away. It was up to them.

So, many people thought I was being a bitch when I let them deal with their own emotions. When I listened but I didn’t fix. When I didn’t return emails immediately. When their threats didn’t scare me. When they wanted me to take responsibility for their emotions and results.

But that’s not my job.

My job has been to birth a revolution. And in doing so, I had to upset a lot of people. Letting people feel their own emotions and holding space for them has taken a ton of practice. And I didn’t know that would be a part of my job every day, but I’m so grateful for it.

It makes me a better boss, collaborator, daughter, sister, friend, partner.

What a wild ride it’s been, and continues to be. While birthing and growing and caring for a revolution.